Living to the max

March 2022

Well, it has finally happened. My stretch jeans have lost their stretch. More accurately, they are no longer bouncing back from the dryer. I never thought that the stretch could be overwhelmed to the point of no return, but I was wrong.

I guess after two years in and out of lock down, and thereby lounging, it has taken its toll. Yes, there is no stretch left and I have filled the space exceedingly well.

After living in the world of “casual” wear, which really means leggings, I took the advice given so regularly in magazine articles; that is to avoid weight gain it is suggested jeans be worn on a regular basis. The idea is that the jeans may prove to be uncomfortable and will limit food intake.

Not so with stretch. Realizing that my jeans were growing in proportion with my body, the only real time I was concerned was the few minutes direct from the dryer. This required movement akin to competitive gymnastics. Once in, things formed to my body well and all was right with the world. Until now. The jeans that I put on outside of the dryer, a day later, still feel tight. Could they have shrunk? Could they need greater movement? No, they have just met their stretch max.

This realization sent me running (well running for me) up the stairs and sliding the closet doors wide open. There, almost mocking me, was the selection of slacks (yes slacks) that I have not worn for some time. Many of these were summer apparel so it is understandable that they would not have been worn since last year. But the rest were just hanging there. As we all know this is because it is a whole lot easier to throw on the leggings or sweats while hanging around the house. My slacks have been ignored.

Gingerly, I removed each one from its hangar and attempted to slip it on, once again jumping up and down to better position it to my frame. Potentially wearable at first, I knew it would take a number of hours to truly see if these too have met their life.

The entire closet took some time. Mostly because I gave each piece that little bit of extra opportunity to make itself, and therefore myself, more comfortable. It’s not the kind of science project I really wanted to get into but realize it was absolutely required. The results? I leave this to your imagination.

Many of you would say that this would allow me to invest in a whole new wardrobe, and yes, the anticipation of this is a bit appealing. But I really do not want to grow (again) and accept my fate as a woman who is aging, and yes, taking up more space.

As summer approaches, I am worried that my shorts and summer slacks may see the same fate. I’m going to wait awhile and regroup before I continue this closet quest. This burden is too difficult to bear all at once. Or is that wear all at once?

Sorry, I could not help myself. Have a wonderful spring everyone.

Sue Prodaniuk is a marketing, advertising and communications consultant. She can be reached at

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